Montevallo

Well Freshman year is over.
Auburn is over.
Im going to Montevallo.

Freshman year has been one of the hardest years of my life. NOTHING has gone according to my plans. Its exciting because that just means the Lord has something soooo different and soooo much better for me. ah. its hard trusting- just because its hard letting go of my own plan. ha butttt luckily for me i didnt even have to let go- he just took it. probably because he knows im a control freak and would be to stubborn to let go if he asked me. haha he knows me too well

So- This WAS the plan.

Come to Auburn with the perfect friends at the perfect school with the perfect relationship. Make good grades. graduate from here. and get married.

It was easy. It was comfortable.

The Lord had something so different for me.

The relationship that i depended so greatly upon and was so caught up in- crumbled.

I fell apart. everything fell apart. there was no joy or peace. I didnt trust the Lord to pull through.

HE did.

so i thought the worst was over. i thought losing him was the worst that could happen and it was only uphill from there. because for sure- that was rock bottom?

Well, there was still one more curve ball to be thrown.

Im transferring.

soooo not only did he take the relationship i clung too but nowww HE is moving me a few hours away from all my best friends.

ok ok.

i thought things were going so well. i thought the trials had been overcome. well now looking back- they had only begun.
the lord had healed my heart from a breakup that rocked me but i still had not submitted. i only turned to other things to forget and numb my pain. it wasnt gone. just hidden. i turned to friends. depended completely on them. i have great friends. so that was a quick and easy fix. i turned to alcohol. alcohol numbed every emotion i felt and once i had tasted the kind of fun it brought i didnt want to stop drinking. i havent wanted to stop drinking.

so- the Lord saw that taking my relationship wasnt enough to break me and draw me back to him sooo now he is just going to take me away from the friends i lean completely on.

I am excited about this because more than anything i want to return to him and his will and flawless love but i have just been stubborn like always and continued to carve out my own plan instead of surrendering.

SO now I KNOW that I KNOW that I KNOW that the LORD IS NOT LETTING GO. HE IS TAKING EXTREME MEASURE TO BRING ME BACK TO HIM AND PULL ME INTO HIS LOVE AND PROTECTION. PRAISE THE LORD.

a new start. a new location. a million new possibilities. everything smells so fresh. i am so excited because if i thought my plan was good- then theres no telling what he is about to pull out.

the is joy- for real this time.

i am so scattered and if i was the Lord i would have given up on me a long time ago.

he is so faithful and full of surprises. i know this upcoming season is going to be fruitful.

ok time to do a photoshoot. more to come laterrrr