the favor of his face

i started this blog and stayed with it only 2 days. :( this is what drives me crazy about myself. i want to commit to something and actually finish one of the many projects i begin. this is what i choose. i am going to finish blogging the rest of my freshman year at the university of auburn and make that my short term goal. we can see what happens from there. i am going to blog 4-5 times a week if not daily. 

so, since it has been a month since i have been on here basically what happened is i got excited about the renewal in my life i was anticipating and then i neglected the Lord and spending time with him so i didnt get anywhere. here i am back at ground zero with a newly rekindled passion. these last few weeks i made poor decisions and once again have reached the point where i am tired of living for myself and trying to run my own show. it has been a circus- and not in a good way. i have also come to the realization that if i want to grow and mature and learn and experience the Lord- i cant just sit around being lazzzzyyyy like i have been or wasting my life away on facebook and expect these things to just occur. it is going to take me being willing to read and listen and seek and rest and pray and serve. all the things i have not been doing- im sad to say.

last wednesday i stayed up the entire night. my intent was to study for my exams but i craved the Lord for the first time in a month so i just put on some kim walker and painted the night away. i cant explain how peaceful and refreshing it was to just lay and soak in the goodness of the Lord and his presence. 

these song lyrics really spoke to me...

Let the light of your face shine down... on my heart... and let me feel it... For I live only to see your face, so shine on me. Cause your face to shine on me. Grant me the favor of your face. God, The favor of your face is what i crave. O i seek only to see your face, let me see your face, the beauty of your holiness....