Blogging.

its been a month almost since i last posted. mainly because i was really wrestling with the concept of blogging and figuring out if a lot of what i blog is appropriate to post online. the more that iv thought about it the more i am ok with it because i really just have no desire to impress anyone. to meet any expectations. to follow any rules. to have safe and fluffy thoughts. freedom in writing the depths of my thoughts and feelings and knowing that someone may read them gives me a sort of rush. having nothing held back is dangerous but holding everything back is more dangerous. i don't want to be a cookie cutter christian with a cookie cutter life and cookie cutter thoughts. authentic, genuine, passionate, explicit, and honest words are different. they intrigue me. they are exciting and fresh. insight into such a complex mind and heart that we all obtain fascinates me. i want to know people on this sort of level. and i don't care if people know me on this level also. its real. and in this world, its rare.