Prone to wonderrrr ughh

Lord, i keep wondering why i am discontent. why i am not being satisfied. why i dont feel you like i love to and need to. why i am unmotivated. why my heart is not full. why i haven't had a passion to talk about you or experience you or pour you out on others all week. why i am LONELY. and you know what bothers me the most....? I am bothered that i i know exactly why i feel this way and am still sitting on my lazy ass and not chasing you wholeheartedly. thats what bothers me. Lord- things in my life are comfortable. incredible family. couldnt ask for better friends. a comfortable and cushioned life to say the least. i am so blessed. all day. everyday. so why the heck at night do i feel empty. why do i hate to be in an empty room- all alone. and why the heck do i feel as if the room is empty. why dont i feel you there with me. always. i am happy. outwardly. i have fun. but when everyone leaves i dont run to spend time with you. i go to bed. when i wake up- i dont crave you. sometimes i dont even think about you. what the hell is wrong with me. Lord i want to crave you. you are LIFE to me. i have been so self seeking lately. i want what you want. and i want to spend time with you so all these dadgum feelings will scoot on out of here. satan is not welcomed here. and i will not do his work. i will not be obedient to him. i will not give in to his flattery or schemes. Lord you are bigger. you are more powerful. captivate my heart. let my gaze not drift- even in the slightest. i cant afford it.

Lord you are...

real.

healer.

love.

mercy.

forgiveness.

joy.

provider.

comfort.

hope.

truth.

consistent.

compassion.

beauty.

blameless.

holy.

worthwhile.

the only thing good in this world.

the only thing worth my life.

the only thing worth living for.

the only thing that will EVER satisfy.

the only thing that will never let me down.

iv missed your truth. i want truth. i NEED truth. you are truth.

next on the agenda for tonight- TIME WITH YOU. i get kinda crazy without it. thanks for waiting on me. you are SO faithful.

"Less than Christ cannot satisfy. More than Christ can not be desired."

AMENNN